so, its my goal to be productive today and before the entire day slips away i feel its kinda important to define what a productive day really means.  for me it means shooting off an email that could radically change my life forever (more on that another time), having an encouraging/challenging talk with my dad, getting the oil changed in my car, meeting with friends and worshipping God.  If I did all that today, i would deem this day productive.  but what happens if that doesn’t happen?  what happens then?  what about the unknown?  can the unknown still be considered productive?  i believe it can and here is why…we can define a productive day with a long to do list of “good things.”  But as believers we must remember that God is the one who has it all under control!  He is the one with the plan and so with that in mind a productive day does not need to be defined by how much of our stuff that we get done.  It should be defined by how much we get done with God in a particular day or time period.  If I don’t accomplish anything on my list but have a day with God waiting on Him and listening to His voice, I would still consider that day to be productive.  so, here’s to a productive day!

San Diego may not be my home and I may not even be living here for a long time…but that doesn’t change the fact that it is an amazingly beautiful place to live.  Today for example I spent the afternoon and evening with friends at the beach.  As I sat in my chair with my feet in the sand looking out at the waves I was once again reminded of God’s amazing creation.  What a view I had and what an excellent reminder of God it was to witness firsthand.  At night, Kosova is pretty amazing with the crisp, clear sky and bright stars but there is not much better than sitting on Coronado beach with your feet in the sand watching the waves break off shore under a blue sky.  Isn’t God amazing??

sitting in the budapest airport waiting for my flight to begin boarding, all i can hear is the hum of the restaurant fridge and the beep beep beep of the register.  as i type and drink my last bottle of hungarian coke, this whole idea of “going home” has begun to cross my mind.  technically (according to my passport) my country of origin or “my home” is the united states of america.  so, as i continue my journey that started 17 hours ago to america i am in a sense “going home.”  but is america really where i call home?  if you walk into my parents house, one thing you will see posted on the wall is a sign that reads…”home is where the heart is.”  i have read that sign too many times to count or remember growing up and i believe it still rings true today.  with that in mind, if home truly is where your heart is then i am not so sure that my home is “america.”  i am still an american but i believe my home is elsewhere then the land of the free and the home of the brave.  so, if home is not america…then where is it?  if the sign in my parents house is correct then my home is in heaven!  that might sound like the “easy” answer for one who has a relationship with Jesus, but it is so true in my life.  my heart belongs to Him and therefore my one and only true home is heaven!  what a reminder this whole flight “home” thing has been about my real reason for being here and real home!  now with that said some might say that if heaven is my real home than america is just the temporary one.  to that statement i would say no as well.  my home in america is indeed temporary but i don’t believe my heart is there anymore.  you see, God has captured my heart and made it to beat with a intense passion for the people and countries of this world outside the USA.  my heart is there, and now after my trip to kosova, my body may be there as well.  america is not supposed to be my earthly home for very much longer and now after my recent trip to europe i know that for sure.  where I will “set up shop” next is still unclear but i believe it won’t be america long term and it will be somewhere where i can share the truth and invite as many people to come with me to my real home as i possibly can.  so, am i going home, no way…there are still billions of people outside the usa that need to hear how they can really be sure they are going home!

30 minutes before boarding begins and i am updating this page for the first time in a long time.  been out of email contact for a while and am really not going to even try to write it all here and now.  just this…read isaiah 41:10 and 40:31.  this God we serve is amazing and awesome and everything else you can think of and not think of.  that’s Him!  From the most awesome view of stars i have ever seen to a guy named jeff who i met just two seconds a go God has and continues to blow mw away.  now its kosovo…one week to see the Father at work in this new country firsthand and to see if that is where I am to serve.  updates will come later so keep checking back.  oh yeah and pictures will be on their way too.  

i leave with this…close your eyes (after you finish reading) and imagine running like a child with all your energy in reckless abandonment towards the edge of a cliff.  the wind is rushing through your hair as you run and jump off the edge without fear and full of trust.  then it happens, out of nowhere the eagle comes and swoops down to have you land on its neck and soar off together.  what a picture.  that’s me and God right here and right now!

Tonight is the beginning of the end of my time at Indian Hills Camp.  As of right now I have 2 more meals to work before my time as a full time employee in the kitchen is over!  Monday morning its off to Croatia on an IHC trip and then I move on to visit some SEND missionaries and see if where they are working is where God wants me to be.  I sure hope it is!  Right now though its time for bed.  

How does one take care of their responsibilities today while looking ahead to the future and planning for what is to come?  I know we are to live for today…but what about tomorrow?  Here’s the situation…right now I am in the midst of long days and hard work at IHC’s annual junior high camp with a 3 week missions trip throughout Europe to come in less than one week.  The ministry is here filled with opportunities to invest in the lives of people here and love God through it all.  Yet my mind often wanders at the many plans and preparations that need to be made before the trip on Monday.  The key word in this situation is…balance!  Balancing the focus on today with the looking forward to tomorrow.  

Or is there more to it than that?  You see, God calls us to love Him.  That’s it, all we have to do is love God.  Nothing more…nothing less.  Just loving God.  When we love God I believe we are doing exactly what it is that God has called us to do.  When we do that the peace of God comes over us.  The more we love God and in turn overflow Jesus, the more the peace of God overwhelms us.  More love, more peace…its a circle that never ends.  So, in the midst of it all I am going to simply love God.  When the week ends and I have a short time to get ready for Europe, the peace of God will be there to calm me down enough to be productive and effective in my time to get ready for Europe.  

So, in the midst of the challenge of planning ahead or living for today, I choose to love God!

the love of God is amazing!  no matter how many times I screw things up the love is always there.  as i sit in front of my computer on my day off, what a concept to think about!

I am home…I am tired…I am going to bed!

All is quiet on the SEND base here in Farmington, Michigan.  Its 8:30 on Saturday morning and I am the only one up and about on the property.  There is only one other girl from my orientation program that is still here as we are getting a ride to the airport a little later this morning.  As far as SEND staff, they are all at home enjoying their saturday.  The quietness here has given me an opportunity to reflect a little on what has just happened and to get ready for what the next year is going to bring.  

I entered this candidate orientation as just that, a candidate knowing that God had opened the door to SEND and checking it out to see if that is exactly where God wanted me to serve.  Having done countless assesments, (I know more about me than ever before) trainings and interviews the door with SEND opened even wider and now I am a member!  What a ride these two weeks have been!  What a ride the last five years have been!  Because it was after my time with OM in 2003 that I knew God wanted me overseas in full time missions.  To finally see that all come together and to combine it with an area of the world I am growing to love and a ministry i believe in is just amazing.  Something only God could put together.  WOW!  

Looking forward however is one that brings with it as much excitement as it does uncertainty.  In the next few months I will be working at Indian Hills Camp, going on a scouting trip to see where in South Central Europe God has for me to serve and then jumping in to finding partners for this ministry.  Like I said before it sounds exciting but overwhelming at the same time.

Before I go and clean out my room and pack, (I have 2 hours before we leave to the airport) I thought I would give a brief recap of yesterday’s news.  In the morning we had a little service where all of us new people were officially welcomed into the SEND family.  It was amazing to sit there and remember all that God had brought me through to get there.  WOW, that’s a lot!  During that short service the speaker spoke on Joshua three and how the Israelites were told to make a memorial to remember what God had done for them after they crossed the Jordan river.  The crossing of the Jordan was a monumental occasion in their lives and the memorial served as a reminder to remember for the rest of their lives.  In fact the Bible says its still there today!  Anyways, God didn’t part any rivers for me but my appointment with SEND is still a work of God and it is exactly what God wants me to do.  In that way, I need to remember this moment for the rest of my life!  That was the jist of the message and after the service we had a reception which was pretty cool.  Then it was all  about tying up lose ends before going home!  Some of us went home yesterday while others are on our way home already or like me and leaving in a little bit.  

So, the plan for the day and the next week is to go home, sleep, and be ready for breakfast at IHC 6:30am Monday morning.  I am looking forward to it!  At the same time I will be looking to begin the partnership development process by inviting people to join with me in the work God is doing.  It should be exciting as I trust in God to meet all my needs before I can hit the field.

May we all act with urgency as we overflow Jesus wherever we are in order to share His love with those we meet and invite them into a relationship with God that will radically transform their lives forever!

Well, its the last night “officially” at COP although a few of us will be here tomorrow night as well, the program ends after dinner on Friday.  With that said, I am excited to be going home after what will be twelve days away.  At the same time I am bummed that I will be leaving this new community that was formed of people who may have different ages, genders or backgrounds but share the same passion…sharing Jesus with the world.  That is what I am going to miss the most about COP…the people!

Before it finishes though, I have a few more projects to get done so I better make this post one of the “shorter” ones in my list.  I do have one story to share before I go however…one that I still can’t believe happened and will encourage me for weeks to come.  For the latter part of this week we have been learning and practicing various methods and stratagies that have been effective in partnership development.  One of those methods was sharing our story and expressing our partnership needs with someone in a one on one situation.  To help practice this skill, outsiders were brought in to give us their listening ears.  It was at that time that I met Duane and we both shared what God was doing in our lives.  As I went through my story and came to the part where I asked him if he was interested in partnering with me, he said YES and proceeded to give me a financial gift to help with my outgoing expenses.  I never met him before and now Duane is a prayer partner and has given to the ministry.  I think that’s pretty cool and almost did not know what to say.  God is awesome and He moves in ways we sometimes don’t understand.  We just need to overflow Jesus and hold on tight for what comes next.  To God be the glory!